agape720

Today a psych patient related to me how he chipped his tooth by eating a bird he had picked up off the side of the road. (Don't worry, it was cooked).

Me: Do you know the symptoms of low blood sugar?
Patient: No- tell me.
Me: Sweating, shaking, nervousness...
Patient: Sounds like sex!

Today one of my patients (an elderly man in his 70s) started railing against the health care bill passed by the House over the weekend, and about how our country is drifting steadily toward socialism.  And I thought, "Here you are, getting your free/cheap health care from the government, in a government-run facility, talking to a government employee, about how the government shouldn't get involved in health care."  How can people not make that connection??

I was looking over medications for a patient in his 80s and saw that he had his eye surgery cancelled twice last year because he was positive for cocaine in a urine test.  Way to live it up in your old age dude.

My latest phone conversation with my favorite crazy patient (see 2 entries below this one):

Me: Hi, I'm calling to reschedule your appointment.
Patient: Yeah, I'm in Jersey for a family funeral.  I hate city life!  There are n*****s lined up and down the street!
Me: Are you worried they're going to jump you or something?
Patient: No no, if they do I'll beat 'em with my walking stick!  Oh, there's someone urinating on the sidewalk.  I can't wait to get out of here!

I had a phone conversation with a patient today that went a little something like this...

Patient, over the sound of kids screaming in the background: Doc, I just had to tell you, since I started taking my medicines twice a day like you told me to my sugars have gotten so much better!  They're the lowest they have been in a long time!  And I feel the best I've ever felt!
Me: I'm so happy to hear that! 
Patient:  Kids, cut it out!!  They're about to rip my picture off the wall!  I woke up with them in my bed this morning- I don't know where their mama went...
Me:  Maybe you should get back to watching them.
Patient: Thanks for giving me new meds to replace the stolen ones.  I just know it was my nephew, that little n*****, who broke in and stole all my guns and my meds.   

o_0

I decided it was about time that I start trying to write about my life again.

Life in Richmond has been good- I'm really happy with my residency.  It's at the VA Medical Center in Richmond, which I really like because everything the patients need is there: transportation to the center, social workers, a huge store ("the Canteen"), primary care, specialists, clinics, hospital rooms, a bowling alley (not kidding), exercise programs, etc etc etc.  There are spinal cord and polytrauma units there since we sometimes get overflow patients from Walter Reed who are just back from Iraq.  They have access to great physical therapy and transitional care- there's even a building outside the hospital where they can live semi-independently to get used to living outside the medical center.  The spinal cord guys have cool motorized beds that they zip around the cafeteria with, on their stomachs so they're flying like Superman...although I'm sure it's not as fun as it looks.  I challenge any pro-war citizen to walk up to one of those guys who are immobilized in wheelchairs, look them in the eye, and tell them that this war was worth them never being able to walk again.

Since it's a big medical center, there are a lot of pharmacists to support and teach me and the other pharmacy residents.  I think I'm going to learn a ton.  The other residents (Jon, Amanda, and Cristina) are really nice and fun.  Cristina and I both love to dance and are kind of feisty- I think we're going to get along great.  Amanda's really sweet and friendly, and Jon is very silly and sarcastic, which makes for some good banter.  Jon and Amanda are from around Richmond and Cristina's from NC.  They have been kind so far and haven't made fun of my Yankee accent :-p.  I'm trying to fit in my saying "y'all" and putting "sir" or "ma'am" after my yes's and no's.  Everyone does that here, and I don't want them to think I'm a rude northerner. 

I've already gotten to see patients in our two main clinics.  One is metabolic syndrome clinic (which covers high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and diabetes).  The primary care docs refer patients to see us once a month for six months if they need help with those problems, and they delegate us authority to change those meds.  I've already met some real characters...one guy randomly told me "I used to be a manwhore...I slept with 40 different women and had kids by eight of them!"  What that had to do with his diabetes, I have no idea.  Anyway, I'm really enjoying interacting with the patients- they definitely keep things interesting.  I taught two people how to use insulin, including a schizophrenic guy, so I was really proud of that.  The other clinic we do a lot is warfarin clinic.  Warfarin is a blood thinner drug that people take when they have heart arrhythmias, a history of blood clots, or prosthetic heart valves.  The drug has a lot of interactions with food and other drugs, so the patients have to come in monthly and get their drug level tested.  We have to stick their finger and get some blood into a cartridge that goes into a machine and tells us their reading.  I don't really like that part, but I'm getting used to it.

On weekends I've been exploring Richmond.  It has a lot of really different neighborhoods all very close to each other: a college towny area, a skyscraper-filled downtown, a historic district, and an old run-down slummy area, though it's not even close to as bad as Detroit.  The city is rapidly gentrifying, so on one block I might see vacant storefronts and "Checks Cashed Here" signs, and on the next block see fancy restaurants filled with wealthy-looking people.  It's very different from Detroit where economic disparities are between cities rather than between blocks.

I have found a non-denominational church that meets in an old theater in the city.  They seem to care a lot about serving the city, and they have small groups so I can get to know people better.  I'm going to try it for a while and see what I think.

Ben is moving to DC in a couple of weeks, which will be nice...all the other residents are married or soon-to-be so they don't have a lot of time to hang out.  Once he comes down, I'll be spending most weekends in DC, and I'm sure we'll find plenty to do there.  I miss my Michigan friends but I'm doing okay.  Ingrid and Tim came down to the area to visit last weekend, and I went to Michigan for Ben and Maggie's wedding, which was wonderful.

That's all for now...here's something to make you smile:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-94JhLEiN0

I can't decide...which is bitchier, to not invite someone to your wedding because they didn't invite you to theirs, or to invite them and then have them feel bad about not inviting you to theirs?  Hmmm...

Entry soon to come where I actually tell you how my life is going...

Tonight I went with my coresident Amanda and her fiance Scott to a free outdoor concert on an island in the James River in Richmond.  Then we went to a Cuban bar/restaurant in the city.  It was so fun, and there are so many places to go!   A canal walk, a Farmer's Market, a Civil War Museum, the Virginia capitol building, and a ton of multicultural bars and restaurants and clubs.  AHHH I'm so excited to be living in a real city!!

My God she is amazing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rov3pV9PsRI